Dreamin’ Dreams

Lately my husband and I have been doing lots of dreaming. Some of our dreams have been about farming one day. Some of them have been about having a house of our own rather than our apartment. Some of them have just been about having a yard and garden to play and work in. I come up with crazy ideas, and my husband wisely helps me think them through. We have spent hours on realty sites looking at homes and land in our area, and hours talking about what we can do to make our dreams financially possible.

I love planning and hoping with my husband…he is my best friend, and we so enjoy thinking about our future together! It’s fun thinking about having a farmhouse, a big garden, lots of kids running around, and beautiful golden fields of wheat all around us. However, if I’m not careful, dreaming can have some negative side effects on me. I forget about now, and I can tend to grow discontent…so as we dream, there are some truths that I need to keep in mind.

First, I need to remember my story. You can read the whole version by following my link, but the essence is that God, through the person and work of Christ, has saved me from my sins, declared me to be righteous in His sight and given me an inheritance in Heaven for all of eternity. The upshot of which is that whatever happens or doesn’t happen in my lifetime, the best has already happened (when I became a Christian) and is also yet to come (eternity in Heaven). So if a farm, or even a house with a yard, never happens…it will be ok, because that’s not all there is.

Also, I need to remember the sovereignty and goodness of God. Man lays his plans, but the Lord directs his steps, Proverbs says. So as much as we plan and dream (nothing wrong with that), I need to ultimately lay the future into God’s hands, and trustingly leave it there. God is so, so good! He loves us, and will take care of us, and will accomplish His plan, which is always best. So I don’t need to fret about the future or be angry if it doesn’t turn out the way I want it to, because God’s got everything under control, in His love and wisdom. Along those same lines, since God is sovereign over everything, that means that my husband and I are living in an apartment in the middle of town for a reason. I don’t want to miss what God has for us to do right now.

Finally, I need to remember my purpose. My purpose is to live in a way that pleases the Lord…and I can do that in an apartment, on the streets, on a farm or the big city…wherever. And as long as the Lord is pleased, everything will be ok. I have a home to take care of, right now. I have a husband to love, right now. There are people around me to be loved, encouraged, befriended, and shown the gospel right now.

So, we’ll see where all our dreams take us…and I’ll continue to curl up with my husband and imagine the future. And…with the time that I have in the place where I am, I will be seeking to please my Lord.

My Story

I am posting my story because it is something that I cannot (and should not) ever forget. It is not so much a timeline of the events of my life as it is a record of the most important event of my life, because it is the event that defines me and through which I see everything else.

I grew up in a conservative Christian home, raised by Godly parents who sought to honor the Lord in their parenting. I enjoyed Sunday school, and knew all the stories and Bible trivia. However, I found myself becoming an angry, rebellious, sullen, selfish girl. I hated who I was, and although I tried to change, I couldn’t. My efforts would work for a while, and then I would fall flat on my face. My parents, siblings, work, everything seemed to bring out the sin that was apparent in my life. I was being disobedient to what God commands in His Word, the Bible. I was totally ignoring the One who gave me life.

I was trying to “be good” all on my own. I was trying to make myself into the person I knew I should be. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I am a sinner to the core. I couldn’t possibly hope to live up to the perfect standards that God has set in place. But God, in His great love, kept revealing to me more and more the depths of my sin, and finally I fell to my knees…defeated and needy, which is exactly where I need to be.

God showed me mercy. He sent Jesus Christ into the world thousands of years ago. Jesus lived a perfect, sinless life, and then died for the sins of all who would trust in Him by faith. He rose again on the third day, showing that God accepted His payment for sin. So, instead of treating me as my sins deserve, God drew me to Himself, and I repented of my sins and turned in faith towards the Lord Jesus as my only hope for salvation. God justified me. He looked upon me as if I had lived Christ’s sinless life, and treated Christ as if He had lived my sin-filled life. Because of the person and work of Christ, God legally declared me righteous. He brought me from being an enemy to a beloved daughter. He took away my hard, wicked heart and gave me a new heart that desired to please Him. He changed my eternal destination from the misery of Hell to Heaven, a perfect place where I will be with Him forever. He has given me an inheritance that cannot be depleted or stolen, because it is an eternal one. He has given me hope of a beautiful eternity with Him, and He has allowed me to come and know Him intimately…He who is the Creator of all things, Who gives life to all things, Who holds all things together, Who is limitless in power, in holiness, in perfection, in knowledge.

I now stand completely justified as a person, forgiven for all past and future guilt. There is absolutely nothing I can do to add to or take away from that. Declared righteous, before God. Sin is still ever present in my life…but it is no longer my master. By grace, the Lord is helping me to battle sin in my life and choose what pleases Him. When my heart condemns me for the sin still evident in my heart, I look not to the good works in my life, but to Christ. I know that what I could not (and still cannot) do, Christ did on my behalf. Jesus is my only hope.

The Lord is now changing my life. When I first became a Christian, God did something in my heart. Somehow, instead of anger and rebellion, He put submission and love in my heart, and I am continuing to grow. I see more deeply my sin, and also see more deeply His grace. I am being transformed to be like Christ, which will bring more and more glory to God, and is my greatest good.

My destination is heaven. My hope is Christ. My joy is that God has placed His love upon me. I seek to please Him because I love Him. I want to tell others about Him because He is amazing, and they have absolutely no hope without Him. My all is Jesus.

Uncommon Joy

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places.

~ Habakkuk 3:17-19 ~

My Town

I have a new home town. It’s nothing fancy. Or horrible. Or big. Or desolate. Just a small town. I’ve noticed some things. The same lady checks me out at the grocery store almost every shopping trip I make. she’s always efficient, and always friendly. I should learn her name. One of my favorite places so far is the library. It’s smaller than the one I was used to in my old home. It doesn’t have as many books. The building is smaller. But every librarian there has a sweet smile and something nice to say to me when I visit. The lady in the thrift store calls me “honey.”

I live in an apartment in a not-so-residential part of town. And I’ve caught myself thinking that if only I had neighbors, I could do something that would make a difference. Get to know them. Encourage them. Bring them cookies. Something. Maybe when we move, I’ll make a difference, I thought. It struck me today that I do have neighbors. The girls at the hair salon and the ladies running the thrift store downstairs. The donut lady next door. The librarian, or the grocery clerk. There are people all around me to be known, loved, admired, learned from, listened to, encouraged and shown the gospel. So I have a choice. I can sit back and think of “someday” (a someday that will probably never happen), or I can do something now.

Maybe I’ll start by getting my hair done, and meeting my neighbors.

Drip, Drop

Her head bows down
Like a branch in the wind
Her eyes fill with tears
Drip, drop, drip, drop

Gray-blue skies drizzling down
No roars from the heavens
No bolts of wrath from the gods
Drip, drop, drip, drop

Her pain feels like that
Nothing catastrophic
Nothing horrific
Just drip, drop, drip, drop

Every day the same
Every day the heavy heart
Every day the pain and drear
Drip, drop, drip, drop

She falls to her knees
No one sees or helps
There is no big storm
Just drip, drop, drip, drop

Snickerdoodles

I’m making cookies for a bake sale at the place my husband works, and this recipe is awesome! I like making snickerdoodles because they’re simple and I usually have the ingredients on hand. I’ve taken it from www.allrecipes.com. They’re called, Mrs. Sigg’s Snickerdoodles. I’ve also made bars by spreading about half of a recipe in a 9 x 13 pan. Those are really good, too!

INGREDIENTS

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 cup shortening
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons cream of tartar
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons white sugar
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2. Cream together butter, shortening, 1 1/2 cups sugar, the eggs and the vanilla. Blend in the flour, cream of tartar, soda and salt. Shape dough by rounded spoonfuls into balls.
3. Mix the 2 tablespoons sugar and the cinnamon. Roll balls of dough in mixture. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets.
4. Bake 8 to 10 minutes, or until set but not too hard. Remove immediately from baking sheets.

Frugality

I just found this site, and I’m having fun exploring and finding out ways to save money…the Frugal Couple. There’s a lot of great information and tips there, as well as on many other websites on the web.

There are quite a few good reasons to be frugal:

1. It pleases my husband when we handle our money well.
2. It gives us the ability to save and provide for our family.
3. It gives us more opportunity to be generous. (It should be noted here that frugal is not the same as stingy. Frugal: “economical in use or expenditure; prudently saving or sparing; not wasteful.” Stingy: “reluctant to give or spend; not generous; niggardly; penurious.)

For me, my mindset has been that to have fun, you went out to a nice restaurant or spent money to do something special. The more you spent, the more special it was, whether it was an outing or a special occasion or a gift.

BUT, when you are trying to be prudent with your finances and live with wisdom in stretched economic times…basically, my mindset needed to change. The attitude mentioned above is limiting. After all, for those of us without a lot of money…there wouldn’t be much to do, would there? There wouldn’t be special moments. There wouldn’t be a lot of happiness in our home. So…I jotted down some truths I need to keep in mind as I start to change my attitude:

• When it comes to eternal rewards, which will be stubble and which will survive the fire: spending  money on ourselves or giving to others and to God’s Work?
• When money becomes important to me, it becomes my god and actually hurts my relationship with God and others.
• People are more important than money (my husband is more important than spending money.)
• My husband does NOT have to spend money to show that he loves me.
• More money ≠ more fun.
• Not having money ≠ not being able to do special/fun things.

So, I am a work in progress, but this is my goal: to provide creativity, nutrition, beauty, enjoyment, memories, love, and joy in our home while seeking to please God, honor my husband and be wise with our pennies.

Amazing Love

Tonight sleep deserts me. Perhaps it’s because I just started this blog, and thoughts on what to write have been flooding my mind. Perhaps it’s because I had a Sunday afternoon nap too late in the day, and my body isn’t ready to go to sleep again yet. Perhaps it’s the headache that seems to be my ever present companion lately. At any rate, I find myself sitting at my computer, thinking and writing and praying.

This weekend we watched The Boy in Striped Pajamas, a movie set in Germany during World War II. It broke my heart and made me angry. How could such evil, heinous things be done to people made in the image of God? How could such hate and prejudice and malice and deceit lodge in the human heart? I was thankful for justice, thankful for hell…and then realized that I deserve hell just as much as the perpetrators of the Holocaust. God is just…but for those of us who have repented of our sins and turned to Christ in faith for salvation, He served that justice to Christ on the cross, instead of to me in Hell for all of eternity. What amazing love!

Also this week, I heard a sermon by Sinclair Ferguson on justification. He said that when God justifies us, it is a full pardon for the person for past and future guilt. I can never be more justified than I already am…I cannot add to it or take away from it. Sometimes, when I sin, I fear that I’m not even saved, and when I do good, I wonder if that will appease God. Foolish girl! My salvation has nothing to do with my actions, and everything to do with God. He gives me a new heart, and He will change me into the likeness of Christ…as I work towards this, I am working with the power of God within me. My salvation is not up to me. At all. Amazing love!

As I lay in bed earlier tonight, I felt the cool breeze on my face…a cool breeze when all I deserve is the hot, scorching fire of Hell. I looked over and saw my dear husband sleeping next to me…a dear companion when all I deserve is utter darkness and loneliness. I silently prayed to God as a child to a Father, when all I deserve is to be separated from His love forever. Oh, amazing love!

In light of all this, my only response can be love towards my wonderful Savior. Not an effort to appease Him, not an effort to do enough good things to make up for my bad, not an effort to save myself – all of that has been done by Christ. There is nothing left for me but to praise God for His amazing, glorious love!

Praise the LORD, all nations!
Extol him, all peoples!
For great is his steadfast love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.
Praise the LORD!
Psalm 117